Tick Tock Goes the Clock
by MyValentine
Summary: How will Amy be able to cope without the Doctor?
1. The Girl who had to say goodbye

**Author's Note: Quotes in italics are taken directly from the television show. Enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Prologue**

Time, it was the most beautiful thing in the universe and the most terrible. She used to dance through time, floating, twirling, laughing. Now it held her down and poured through her aching head — tick tock, tick tock. Every moment Amy Williams lost a little more of her soul.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The girl who had to say goodbye**

She stared at her hands, hands that would never again be grabbed by the Doctor as he pulled her towards adventure or away from harm. She had said her goodbye only a few seconds ago, and as the Doctor faded from view she doubted she'd ever see him again. As she turned towards her husband and their new life she couldn't stop herself from glancing wistfully over her shoulder one last time.

As the days turned into weeks then months Amy spent a lot of time staring at her hands. They accused her of letting go of the Doctor, letting him sacrifice his happiness for the safety of his friends. They accused her of selfishness for running off with him in the first place on the eve of her wedding. Her hands missed the pressure of the Doctor's fingers intertwined with hers. Sunlight glinted off her wedding ring and Amy dropped her eyes in shame. How could she be pining for the Doctor when she had Rory? Loving, wonderful, Rory, her husband, and the man she promised to never leave.

She should have been happy. Everyone told her how lucky she was. She had a husband who adored her, a loving family, beautiful house, and a totally impractical car. The Doctor gave her all of those things. He sacrificed himself to reset the universe and restore her family, reunited her with Rory when she ran away the night before her wedding, handed them the keys to a new house and a new car, and left to keep them safe.

She was happy, she insisted to herself. She just missed the doctor. It would fade in time. Except it didn't. Rory tried to introduce her to friends from work, he brought home newspapers with jobs circled in blue ink, and invented any reason he could think of to get her to leave the house and garden.

Three months after the Doctor left Rory came home from work to find her staring listlessly out of the front window. He knelt down next to her and gently picked up her hands.

"Amy, I need you. You are my entire life, and it kills me to see you like this."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "so sorry."

"I know you need time to grieve. He was your best friend. I miss him too, but he wouldn't want you to give up on having a life to sit at home and stare out of the window."

Amy turned and looked at Rory, really looked at him for the first time in three months. He'd aged. There were worry lines that she'd never seen before and, "Oi, is that a grey hair?" her own voice surprised her. It was a shadow of its former self. The lines around his eyes relaxed and he smiled at her. She slipped off her chair and leaned up against him. She was hurting him, and it was wrong. She promised herself that she wouldn't be so selfish anymore. That she would take care of her husband. The boy who waited needn't wait anymore.

After that conversation she kept her days busy cleaning, cooking, and gardening. Amy threw herself into household tasks with an intensity that left no room for thought. She'd been able to cook since a young age because Aunt Sharon often left her to fend for herself . . . no, that was the wrong life, her mother had taught her to cook, but she rarely had because her mother loved cooking for her. Now she cooked like it was an obsession, but she never made fish or custard.

After a few weeks of acting the perfect (albeit frenzied) housewife she let Rory coax her away from the house. She started applying for jobs and joining Rory and his coworkers for drinks after work. It was during one of those nights out that a well-dressed stranger walked up to her at a bar, handed her his card, and said, "you should model."

Amy rolled her eyes. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"No, just the ones who could model."

"Sure you do," Amy snorted. "Anyway you're wasting your time." She waggled the fingers of her left hand at him. "I'm married."

"Seriously, I'm not hitting on you. I'm a modeling scout. Call my office in the morning. You are exactly what my client is looking for."

Amy turned towards the dartboard where Rory was lining up for a shot, the tip of his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration. "Hey, husband!"

He startled just as he let go of the dart, and it hit the target dead center. "You're welcome," yelled Amy, "now get your stupid face over here. This guy won't leave me alone."

"What guy?" asked Rory.

"This guy." Amy gestured to the now empty seat next to her. Rory walked up to her and teased, "Are you seeing things Mrs. Williams?"

"Nope," said Amy triumphantly, "I can prove it. See he left his card!" And she waved the business card in Rory's face.

Rory examined the card and then darted back to his coworkers, Amy trailing behind him. He ran up to a stunning, middle-aged woman and shoved the card in her hand. Amy caught up and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Amy," said Rory, "Iris used to model. I bet she can tell us if your scout is a fake or not."

Iris turned the card over. In his haste Rory had handed it to her backwards and upside down. "He's a legitimate scout," she said, "and not just that he's one of the top model scouts in the UK."

Amy still looked skeptical. "Then what is he doing in Leadworth?"

"Only one way to find out," said Rory. "You'll have to call him."


	2. The Doctor who wasn't there

**Chapter 2: The Doctor who wasn't there**

* * *

Two months after calling the modeling scout Amy's face was on displays in stores all over the country advertising a new perfume, Petrichor, for the girl who is tired of waiting. Amy sighed as she walked by her face in a department store. She loved the smell of the perfume, and the name was one of her favorite words, but the slogan made Amy feel that the universe was mocking her. Her melancholy was interrupted when a little girl ran up and asked for her autograph. Amy smiled, she never thought that she'd have people asking for her autograph. As she handed the pen back to the girl she glanced towards the lingerie department. She could have sworn she'd seen the Doctor duck behind a clothing rack.

"Rory, did you just see anything unusual?"

Rory shifted the bags he was carrying with a grunt, and said, "I can't see anything around this immense amount of stuff you are making me carry."

"Silly husband, we're not even half way done. I don't have a magic wardrobe anymore."

She looked back towards the clothing rack. It couldn't be him. The Doctor she knew wouldn't be caught dead surrounded by women's lingerie. She remembered skipping into the console room one day not long after she arrived on the Tardis to ask him how she was supposed to do laundry. He waved one hand at her without looking up and said, "The Tardis takes care of it."

"But can she do delicates? Or is there some special soap I have to provide, button I have to push?"

"Delicates, of course she's delicate," he mutters.

"No Doctor, I mean d-e-l-i-c-a-t-e-s," she slowly and carefully pronounces the word. When he doesn't respond she marches over to him and shakes his shoulder.

He looks up to see her waving something in his face. When he realizes the black lacy thing in her hand is a bra he turns red and backs up so fast he trips over his own feet. Amy laughs.

"Erm, um, yes, I mean no, I mean yes. The Tardis can handle any laundry, now must go, have that thing, can't wait," and he turns and flees the room.

Amy smiles at the memory, her silly Doctor. He'd stand up to hordes of hostile aliens, but one bra sent him running. A lingerie department is the last place he'd be, unless, he didn't realize that's where he was? No, not even the Doctor could be that daft. And without another glance Amy walked away Rory trailing behind her.


	3. The Blue Envelope

**Chapter 3: The Blue Envelope  
**

* * *

The sun shone through the windows, playing across the comfortable couch and the two people curled up on it.

"Rory, it's sunny."

"Uh-huh."

"And yesterday was sunny."

"Uh-huh."

"And the day before that was sunny."

"Uh-huh."

"Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"Nuh-uh."

"Rory, pay attention and turn off the television."

He sighed, and flicked off the telly.

"Do you know what Mrs. Poggit told me yesterday?

"Oh, I bet this is going to be good." He straightened up and gave her his full attention.

Amy cleared her throat and imitated Mrs' Poggit's breathy squeak, "in my day it rained a proper amount, too much sunshine these days makes you young people soft and orange, very orange. Young people these days look like Oompa Loompas. Except for you. All the orange went to your hair."

"Your hair is perfect." Rory leaned forward and tucked a piece behind her ear.

"That's not the point Rory. She's right about the sun. It was never this sunny when we were kids."

"Maybe it's global warming or something." He shrugged. "Why worry about it? It's not like it's dangerous or anything." Unless," he snickered, "you're afraid the rest of you is going to turn orange."

"That's not it at all. It just feels wrong. So many things feel wrong, Rory. I think," just then the doorbell rang and Rory sprinted from the couch. She knew he was relieved to have an excuse to end the conversation. He never wanted to talk about anything being wrong. Well this time she wasn't going to give up. She wasn't going to let him distract her with kisses or anything else, but when he walked back into the room clutching a blue envelope, a Tardis blue envelope, her words died unspoken.

It was only five minutes later that the first ping hit the alarm center of her brain.

"Rory," yelled Amy.

"What?" He yelled back from the storage closet where he was trying to find their backpacks, his voice muffled by the pile of winter coats that had just fallen on his head.

"It's Sunday."

"So what?"

"The post doesn't come on Sunday."

He emerged a little breathless from the closet. "You're right." He frowned. "Well was it our usual mail carrier?"

Amy appeared at the end of the hall. "I was just going to ask you that."

"Why would you ask me?" Rory shot her a concerned look.

She answered with a look just as concerned. "Because you answered the doorbell."

"Don't be daft. Of course I didn't. I distinctly remember you answering the doorbell." He paused and wrinkled his forehead. "But, now that you mention it. I remember answering the doorbell too."

"The Doctor," Amy declared.

Rory looked even more concerned. "He definitely didn't answer the doorbell."

"No silly." Amy smiled a little sadly. "We have to remember to ask the Doctor why our memories aren't matching up.

* * *

"_I've been running...faster than I've ever run, and I've been running my whole life. Now it's time for me to stop. And tonight I'm going to need you all with me." – The Doctor_

She never did ask him about the doorbell incident. He died. He was 1103 years old and he died. His 908-year-old self was still gallivanting around who knows when and where, but nothing felt more real to her than his death. She didn't think anything could ever feel that real again.

* * *

"_My life in your hands, Amelia Pond." – The Doctor_

She hadn't saved him. She couldn't even stop him from dropping her off once again at the house he had chosen for them, for the Ponds, no not for the Ponds for the Williams'.

* * *

"_Doctor, it's happening. It's changing me, it's changing my thoughts". – Amy_

"_I can't save you from this, there's nothing I can do to stop this." – The Doctor_

"_What?" – Amy_

"_I stole your childhood and now I've led you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain, because I wanted to be adored. Look at you, glorious Pond, the girl who waited for me. I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams. It's time to stop waiting." – The Doctor_

* * *

She had been waiting for those words since she had shown him her wedding dress after the weeping angels. She was so afraid. So afraid that he would reject her that he would leave her for good, but he hadn't. Instead he'd picked up Rory, and she pushed her fears of abandonment down to the very bottom of her subconscious. Lately those fears had resurfaced. She'd been goading him for months now if she was honest. Testing, seeing how far she could go. She'd rejected his Flesh version, blamed Melody's kidnapping on him, told him she hated him when she was trapped on Apalapucia, and most recently started acting bored by everything. The whole time hoping desperately that he would not let himself be pushed away.

He had called her Amy Williams on their last adventure together. He thought he broke her faith in him, the faith that was sustaining the alien Minotaur. He hadn't broken Amy Pond's faith, little Amelia's faith; he'd killed her. Amy Williams didn't belong in the Tardis having adventures, never growing up. Amy Williams belonged in Leadworth with her husband. And it was because of the death of Amy Pond, his magnificent, glorious Pond that Amy Williams didn't object to being once again dropped off in Leadworth. She didn't tell him about her memories, about the dreams that caused her to wake gasping in fear, she didn't tell him that something was terribly, desperately wrong. She kissed his forehead and let him leave.


	4. Memories

**Chapter 4: Memories**

* * *

"_Doctor, the crack in my wall, how can it be here?" – Amy_

"_I don't know yet, but I'm working it out. Now, listen. Remember what I told you when you were seven?" – The Doctor_

"_What did you tell me?" – Amy_

"_No, no... That's not the point. You have to remember." – The Doctor_

"_Remember what? Doctor? Doctor?" – Amy_

* * *

Nights, blanketed by the dark and with Rory asleep, were the only times she felt she could examine her own thoughts. She'd often slip out of bed when Rory started the snores that meant he was truly asleep and tiptoe out of the room, her footsteps masked by the thick carpet, go down the stairs and then ease out the back door, that she kept well greased for this very reason, and go into the garden. The garden was the closest thing she had to the Doctor now. He had made it especially for her; she was sure of it. The garden was bigger on the inside, there were plants and insects there that had never before seen the light of the earth's sun, and most tellingly there were the trees. They looked like earth trees to everyone else, but their leaves changed color not in response to changing seasons but in response to Amy's moods. It took her three months to realize this. The first three months they had been a green so dark that it was nearly black.

She didn't think Rory knew about the mood trees. He rarely came into the garden saying, "he had all the experiences he needed with things that were bigger on the inside than they were on the outside," even River on the rare occasions she visited never spent long in the garden. Rory, precious, wonderful Rory, seemed to have no trouble keeping himself straight inside of his head. Like her he had memories from more than one life, but when questioned he said he simply didn't think about it. After weeks of thinking, laying on her back in the garden staring up at the stars she'd finally come to a conclusion. Rory didn't have trouble with his memories because of his intrinsic Rory-ness. No matter what happened to him he reacted in the same way. He was the same person with the same character in a plastic Centurion body or as a small town nurse.

He was so at peace with himself. She was so at war with herself. If only she could control her memories. Yesterday, her mother asked her to get something from the upstairs guest room, and she had responded without thinking that it wasn't a guest room it was Aunt Sharon's room. This morning Rory told her the movie theater they had gone on their first date was closing and to meet him there after work for one last movie, and she had gone to the wrong theater. When he asked why the only thing she could come up with was she remembered going on her first date there. Rory said it hadn't been their first date, and he looked so sad she wanted to cry.

So once again she was lying under the stars trying to make sense of her memories if only her head didn't ache so much. She had been trying to organize her memories into lists by which Amy they belonged to, but every time she felt like she was making progress pain would shoot through her temples. It took weeks of headaches bad enough to make her throw up before she could even articulate to herself that the bulk of her memories were from two different lives. The life where she grew up in a too big house with only Aunt Sharon for company, and the life where she grew up with her parents. Amy with Aunt Sharon was Amy One. Amy with a family was Amy Two.

Every time she tries to talk to Rory about her life with Aunt Sharon he tells her that those memories shouldn't exist because that life wasn't real. He wants her to concentrate on her family, to concentrate on him and forget any memories of lonely Amy. She tells him she can't forget, but she's not being completely honest. She doesn't want to forget; she is afraid that if she forgets that childhood she'll also forget the Doctor. Remembering brought him back to her what if forgetting sends him into the void again?

She forces her thoughts back to her memories. Amy One's lonely childhood in Leadworth is overlapped by Amy Two's happy memories of two loving parents. In Amy Two's life Aunt Sharon had only been an occasional visitor making remarks about the bad tempers of redheads and offering freckle remedies. The Doctor had given her family back by sacrificing himself to close the cracks in time and space. She was no longer the girl who waited alone and prayed to Santa asking him to send help. Her dad plastered over the quite ordinary crack in the wall, and her mom oversaw her nightly prayers that had been directed away from Santa and in a more traditional direction. She had never been left alone at night. Her memories of Amys One and Two ran parallel in her head until her wedding day when Amy One had disappeared leaving only Amy Two, the new Amy. Now she was daughter Amy, wife Amy, and, although it didn't feel anything like she thought it would, mother Amy.

She remembers so many things, every dream, every nightmare, and every skinned knee growing up. Everything except what is really important. Her head is in a vice – so, so much pain. She needs the Doctor. He would help her sort the memories. Move the inconsequential torrent out of the way so she could see what she was missing, but the Doctor was gone. Gone forever. A moan tore from her throat if only her head didn't hurt so much. Pressing her eyes closed tighter she reaches for a memory. Like a fish stuck in a net it tries to wriggle out of her grasp. She recognizes the shape of the memory. It's about her parents, about how they disappeared from her life. The silver fish bites her hand, another wave of pain, and it is gone.

She knows that silver fish is the most important memory of her life. She couldn't remember. Why couldn't she remember? She remembered everything. She brought back Rory, her family, the Doctor, and even the Tardis by remembering their existence. Why couldn't she remember this? Clenching her hands in frustration she beats her fists on the cold grass and once again stares up at the stars. "Come on Pond," she whispers to herself, "you can do this. You are not a quitter." She reaches into the swirling pool of her memories searching for the one that got away. She sees it, she's getting closer, and as she reaches out to grab it a torrent of memories, a new lifetime of memories, slam into her head, and she loses consciousness.


	5. The girl who was lost

**Chapter 5: The Girl who was Lost**

* * *

"_Amy... help me." – Madame Kovarian_

"_You took my baby from me. And hurt her. And now she's all grown up and she's fine, but I'll never see my baby again." – Amy_

"_But you'll still save me though. Because he would, and you'd never do anything to disappoint your precious Doctor." – Madame Kovarian_

"_The Doctor is very precious to me, you're right. But do you know what else he is, Madame Kovarian? Not here. River Song didn't get it all from you... sweetie." – Amy_

* * *

One moment Agent Pond Amy didn't exist the next all of her memories were in Amy's head, and they simultaneously always existed and only came into being a few seconds ago. Ever since Rory found Amy asleep in the garden one morning he wouldn't fall asleep before she did. She missed her time alone under the stars, but at the same time was reluctant to go back out there.

It was an unusual night if she didn't wake up flailing, covered in sweat and sobbing under her breath. She had killed someone. She hadn't given her a choice, hadn't found any mercy and that terrified her. She was more scared by what she was capable of than of anything else that existed in the universe. She began sleeping less and less.

It's not just her actions as Agent Pond that haunted her. If you'd asked her the day she said yes to Rory's proposal she would have sworn nothing could ever happen in any universe to make her betray him, and yet her Doctor shows up and she's off without a second thought. Worse she kisses the Doctor, tries to seduce the Doctor. Now it makes her blush in shame, but at the time she only felt anticipation and mild embarrassment.

It's not that she didn't think herself capable of betrayal and selfishness. She knew she was, but those actions should have come with emotional consequences. They hadn't at the time, but now she was overwhelmed with guilt and could the same person who saved the last star whale turn around and betray the person who loved her the most, who trusted her the most? It didn't make sense. Amy, Amelia, Pond, Williams did not know her own mind. And she had no Doctor to help her. She bottled it up, staying in bed all night every night with her husband for nearly a month before she started sneaking back down to the garden. She hated keeping things from Rory, but telling him the truth would hurt him more.

She remembered it so it happened. She remembered enough Amys to have her own football team, except she was rubbish at football. The Doctor claimed to be an amazing footballer . . . "Focus Amy, Focus." She was talking to herself again, or one of her selves. It was getting so difficult to keep track.

'Oi, Amy, you really are cracked. Not only are you talking to yourself you're talking to multiple versions of yourself who all live in your head.' Her inner voice grew mocking, 'Amelia Pond, the girl who waited, becoming Amy Pond, the girl who saw the universe, and now you are Amy Williams, the girl – no the woman – who is supposed to be done waiting. Instead you sneak into your own garden in the middle of the night to stare up at stars. You are pathetic.'

* * *

"_I killed someone. Madame Kovarian, in cold blood." – Amy_

"_In an aborted time-line, in a world that never was..." – River _

"_Yeah, well, I can remember it, so it happened, so I did it. What does that make me now? I need to talk to the Doctor, but I can't now, can I?" – Amy_

* * *

And one evening River came. River, her daughter, it was still so hard to comprehend. She was too young to have a daughter, and her daughter was older than she was, and if that wasn't confusing enough she'd named her daughter after her childhood friend who was also her daughter. She'd named her daughter after her daughter. If that wasn't a paradox she didn't know what was. The perils of time travel, her timey-whimey beautiful, confusing daughter. They never had a normal mother daughter relationship and probably never would. She felt like River was her sister, her older sister.

When Amy was a child the other girls her age were playing house and dragging baby dolls around while Amy was playing Raggedy Doctor and dragging Rory around. In secondary school her classmates doodled the name of their current crush in their notebooks and made lists of baby names. Amy drew pictures of the Tardis. Even after she got engaged she would shush Rory anytime he tried to talk about children. She insisted children were too far into the future to be worth thinking about, and now in her early 20s not only did she have a daughter she had one who was older than she was and married to her best friend.

Amy gave herself a little shake and reached forward to hug River.

"_He's not dead, he's not dead!" – Amy_

"_Are you sure, River? Are you really, properly sure" – Rory_

"_Of course I'm sure. I'm his wife!" – River_

"_Yes! And I'm his... mother-in-law." – Amy_

"_Father dear, I think Mummy might need another drink." – River_

"_Yes. Yes." – Rory_

"No. I don't need wine. I need to think." Amy sank back into one of the patio chairs.

"What's there to think about?" Rory is jubilant. "The Doctor is alive!"

"Then why didn't he bring my baby back? He promised."

"Mum." River sinks to the ground next to Amy's chair. "The Doctor lies."

"I know he lies, Rule One." Amy snaps. I also know he keeps his promises."

"He never meant to keep that one, Mum. If he'd brought me back to you I wouldn't have been there on that beach to shoot him. It was a fixed point."

Amy snorts. "It wasn't that fixed, or he would be dead. Someone else could have shot him someone that wouldn't have tried to change history for that matter. He should have brought you back to me."

"Mum, you're not thinking. I spent my childhood with you as your best friend Mels. He couldn't bring me to you. I had already grown up."

"He is a time traveler, River! He could bring you back before that point. He could have rewritten time."

"But then we wouldn't have fallen in love. We wouldn't have gotten married. He couldn't rewrite that."

"River, love, the only one who would remember that possible future would be the Doctor. You wouldn't miss loving him because for you it never would have happened. Do you really think the Doctor would put his own happiness above you having a normal childhood? Do you think he would let you grow up with strangers who didn't love you, strangers that twisted your mind and stole your innocence? Do you think he would let me, his best friend, have her baby torn from her if he could fix it?"

"Well then he couldn't help it. It must have been a fixed point, or"

Amy interrupted her. "No, if he is alive he would have found a way to bring my baby back to me."

Dad, talk some sense into her. She's being irrational."

Rory blinks as if he's just waking up. "Actually River, I've had all the same thoughts that Amy is expressing now. The Doctor has had and lost children before. I don't think he'd put anyone else through that pain."

"Oh, and you know the Doctor do you? You think you know him better than his wife!" River was very nearly yelling at this point.

Rory stepped closer to her. "I don't appreciate your tone."

"Both of you shut it!" Amy shouted. "I need to think."

Why had she, Rory, and the Doctor given up so easily on finding Melody? How long had the Doctor even looked during that two-month period he left them? What had he learned? He seemed so flippant after Melody/River had nearly killed him and then sacrificed her remaining regeneration to save him. Why had he sucked out all of River's remaining regenerations? Surely one would have been plenty. It seemed cruel, and the Doctor hated cruelty. It was even crueler that she could never have her baby back.

And he had announced so casually that they could no longer look for baby Melody because her adult timeline was too entwined with theirs. By growing up with them in Leadworth she had destroyed her chance of a childhood not being raised by psychopaths. Why would the Doctor treat their loss so flippantly and why hadn't it hurt more then? Crushing guilt pours into Amy. It was her fault. She stopped looking for Melody. She should have insisted the Doctor keep looking. She should have gone with him. Why hadn't she? Why had the Doctor given up? Suddenly she knows why.

Amy stands up. "Something else is going on here. Right before you regenerated into your current form you said it took you years to find us. Why would you try to find us, River?"

"Well, I guess I wanted to know my parents."

"You had to know that once you grew up with us you could never have a normal childhood. Were you worried that without your assistance Rory and I would never become a couple and never create you in the first place?"

"No," River's voice is quiet, "I was just lonely."

"Oh, baby." Amy pulls River into a hug. "You never should have been lonely in the first place, but I don't think that's why you found us. I think you were planted there to watch us, and I think the Doctor knew that."

"Mother, you're being crazy."

"Just hear me out. The Doctor didn't bring my baby, our baby," and she reached over and grabbed Rory's hand, "back because . . ." She tries to finish the sentence. Tries to force out the words that are at that exact moment the most important things in the entire universe but she can't. There is a roaring in her ears and she's falling. River shrieks, and Rory is shouting for River to ring an ambulance. Silence falls and Amy knows no more.


	6. The boy who waited

**Chapter 6: The boy who waited, the man who lied, and the brilliant Amy Pond**

* * *

A pink . . . thing, swam blurrily into focus. What was it the Doctor called it? A nose, no the Nose, Rory the Nose, Nose the Rory. Teeheehee, that was funny! Amy made a noise halfway between a laugh and a hiccup. Another figure came slowly into focus. Another hiccupy laugh, "It's Mrs. Robinson!" At least that's what she meant to say. What came out was "mmm, Rob, son."

"Amy," Rory whispered. "Amy, can you hear me? You had a stroke."

What a funny word, stroke, rhymes with poke and bloke. The Doctor was a bloke. This was a joke. Her brain was smoke.

Rory was still talking. She tries to shush him with a finger to his lips and ends up poking him in the eye. He's talking again. It's so hard to concentrate. She drifts into dreams. When she next comes to Rory is talking to a doctor. She catches occasional words "memory loss, coordination issues" and then "problems with language." It should be scary but it feels like it's happening to someone else. Plus her bed is warm and squishy. Squishy, that's another funny word. What rhymes with squishy? Pishy, not a word, mishy, nope, dishy that might work. She drifts off thinking about squishy words.

The next time she wakes up Rory is asleep in a chair next to her bed. She tries to say hi, but there seems to be a barrier between her brain and her mouth. She settles for watching him and thinking. Poor Rory, he must be so scared. It was probably her fault. Ever since she'd passed out in the garden he'd been trying to get her to go to the hospital for a full check up. She'd refused. He'd begged, bribed, and finally broke down and yelled, but she wouldn't be moved. She insisted hospitals were where you went to die, and the only way he'd get her in one is if he carried her. He'd been tempted, but she got her way in the end. Rory had never been able to say no to her. And as much as that was flattering, it was also one of the reasons she was attracted to the Doctor. He said no to her. Rory felt like an extension of herself. The Doctor was gloriously, maddeningly always his own person.

Why did her thoughts always turn back to the Doctor? She tried to focus on Rory she really did, and it should have been easy because Rory was completely entwined with her life. Since the Doctor left them they hadn't been apart for even twenty-four hours. When she opened her eyes in the morning Rory was quick to pop upstairs and bring her coffee. He seemed to know she was awake before she did. He was there at breakfast, he ran home from the hospital for lunch, and he never failed to be on time for dinner. He was continually trying to make her happy. He even went shopping with her trailing behind laden with packages with a hangdog expression on his stupid, wonderful face.

Why couldn't she be happy? What perverse part of her psyche was determined to drive her away from the one person in the universe who would sacrifice everything for her? He had already sacrificed so much. All he'd ever wanted was a normal life with her and a couple of children, and instead he became the Last Centurion. He'd watched over her for two thousand years, he'd died more than once, and he'd been dragged all over the universe. He'd gone from a nice, small town bloke to a warrior with the pain of lifetimes in his eyes. He'd lost his innocence, his belief in the basic goodness of people, and far worse he'd lost his daughter. She was not going to make him lose her too.

Amy sank into a dream of Rory pulling the Pandorica out of a fire. She woke up to people waiting to prod her and ask her questions. She told them to "go boil a toaster" and then burst into tears. Once she'd calmed down she went right back to sleep. Over the next few days the only things she managed to retain from her waking hours were that River had gone as soon as it was clear her mother wasn't dying, Rory was aging far faster than he should be, and her emotional reactions weren't at all matching up to her feelings.

The first day she didn't burst into tears when asked a simple question Rory brought up the night she had her stroke. He wanted to know if she could remember what it was she had been trying to say. She couldn't, and she got so agitated she had a panic attack. He didn't bring it up again. A few more days and Amy had recovered enough to be moved home. Her waking hours were becoming clearer and so were her dreams.

She dreamt of the Doctor and their many adventures together, but the only thing he ever said was, _"My life in your hands, Amelia Pond."_ She also dreamed of Rory guarding the Pandorica facing threat after threat never resting and never giving up. During the day between physical therapy and speech therapy appointments she thought about her dreams. She knew her subconscious was trying to make her choose. Her husband guarded her for two thousand years. He dragged the Pandorica out of a fire and risked life and sanity to protect her. She owed him a debt she couldn't see a way to pay. Amy winced internally, calling his actions a debt made them seem onerous. She should think of it as a gift, as the most wondrous thing anyone could ever do for her, yet when she thinks wondrous she sees the Doctor. When she thinks of the best day of her life she wonders if it was the best day because she got married or because the Doctor came back. She did invite him to kiss the bride.

* * *

_I stole your childhood and now I've led you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain, because I wanted to be adored. Look at you, glorious Pond, the girl who waited for me. I'm not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it's time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams. It's time to stop waiting." – The Doctor_

* * *

Damn the man. He dropped into her life, left her, came back, left her, came back, showed her the stars, and then left her again. He hadn't left them after that rubbish hotel to save them. He wanted to leave them, and he manufactured an excuse that he thought would be the least hurtful. She never would have let him get away with it if he hadn't killed Amy Pond; she had been too distraught that he was telling her to grow up to think things through. He had so many companions and this certainly wasn't the first time one of them had been in danger. She wouldn't even rank it in her personal top five.

* * *

"_This isn't real, is it? This is some kind of big wind-up." – Amy_

"_Why would I wind you up" – The Doctor_

"_You told me you had a time machine. – Amy_

"_And you believed me. – The Doctor_

"_Then I grew up. – Amy_

"_Oh, you never want to do that. – The Doctor_

* * *

The man who didn't think anyone should grow up told her to grow up. No matter how much her heart had been breaking she should have seen through him. She wouldn't abandon Rory and she couldn't abandon the Doctor. The choice was driving her crazy until one morning she had an epiphany. She needn't choose. She was Amy Pond. She was brilliant and she was going to save both of her boys. The Doctor wanted her to stay with Rory. He'd called her Amy Williams and left, but when had she ever done what she was told? She would save the Doctor's life and she would bring Rory with her.


	7. The boy who died

**Chapter 7: The boy who died and the girl who remembered**

* * *

"_Ask me what happens if you die in reality?" – The Dream Lord_

"_What happens?" – Rory_

"_You die, stupid. That's why it's called reality." – The Dream Lord_

* * *

Amy was happy, wonderfully, gorgeously twirl around in circles and sing, happy. There would be no more waiting not for her and not for Rory. Rory. She needed to tell Rory. She ran to get her mobile. Perfect timing he'd be on his lunch break right now.

She dances impatiently in place waiting for him to pick up, and when he finally does she lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

"Rory, we're going on a trip!"

Hearing the joy in her voice something in his chest loosens and he smiles. "What's the occasion?"

"We're going to save the Doctor!"

He doesn't ask questions and doesn't object. His Amy is happy again, and she wants him with her. That is enough. It has always been enough.

"Just let me know when you want to leave and I'll get time off. Oh and Amy, I have something to tell you too. River is here! She wanted to surprise you, but since you called I couldn't keep it to myself."

That's marvelous." He can hear the smile in her voice. "Tell her she has to stay the night. I'll make pancakes in the morning."

"Will do. Love you."

"Love you too."

After she hangs up the phone she twirls around the room until she's dizzy. Everything was going to be fine now. She'd have her boys and the magic blue box. Her Doctor and her Centurion. Her mind latches onto the phrase. Her Doctor and her Centurion. Her Doctor and her Centurion. This was important. She dreamt about this. Her Doctor and her Centurion they were talking and it was important, but she could never hear them. If only she could ask the Doctor . . . She nearly smacked herself when she realized she didn't need to ask the Doctor; she had the Centurion. And this Centurion has a mobile.

"Rory!"

He interrupts before she can say anything else. "We're walking back from lunch. River hasn't disappeared."

"No, silly, I have a question."

"Can it wait until I get home? River is telling me the funniest story about a sentient couch cushion. Remind me to ask our cushions if they mind being sat on."

"This can't wait. I need to know if you and the Doctor talked about anything important when you were a Centurion?"

"Huh?"

"Did he tell you anything that sounded weird at the time? Did he say anything particularly Doctor-y or unusual?"

"Amy, nothing was usual about that situation."

She sighs. "I know. I'm sorry. I've just been having this dream where the two of you stand outside the Pandorica and you're both talking and it's so important, but I can't hear you."

He's silent for a few seconds and then says; "I did ask if you'd be safer if I stayed."

"Rory, I need you to repeat that conversation exactly don't leave a single word out."

When he finishes she says, "I'll call you right back" in a strangled voice and hangs up.

* * *

"_Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn't be safer." – Rory_

"_Rory..." – The Doctor_

"_Answer me!" – Rory_

"_Yes. Obviously." – The Doctor_

* * *

She replays the exchange in her head a few times. Her stomach hurts. She knows the Doctor and she knows what that exchange really meant. And then she's rushing to the nearest toilet to throw up.

Trembling she stands up, and even though she knows what happens next knows what has to happen next she reaches for the phone to call Rory back. She isn't surprised when it starts ringing before she manages to dial. She knows before she answers that it's River, and worse she knows what River is about to say.

* * *

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

"Mum, there's been an accident."

_And all the years they fly_

"Dad is hurt."

_Tick-tock and all too soon_

"You need to come to the hospital right now."

_Your love will surely die_

And she remembers. She remembers every terrifying, wonderful magnificent thing that has ever happened to her, and she no longer feels guilty or afraid. She is utterly at peace. She takes a last look around her little home and walks out the door. River needs her.


	8. Love lives

**Chapter 8: Love Lives**

* * *

When Amy arrives at Leadworth's small hospital she pulls a sobbing River into her arms.

"We were just walking down the sidewalk and he stopped to put his mobile in his pocket, and someone ran their car onto the sidewalk."

"River this has happened before, and you need to trust me."

"I would remember if this had happened before!'

"No, you wouldn't. You are about ready to tell me the car that hit him was blue and you didn't see the driver. You'll tell me the doctors want to take Rory off life support and I must not let that happen." Amy reaches forward and tried to touch River's hand, but River shies away. "When we walk in that room his doctors will say his condition is hopeless, and that he'll never recover from the coma. They'll say he is completely brain dead. They'll ask if I want to talk to a chaplain, and then they'll offer to bring us tea."

River catches her breath. "Mum, you're in shock. Now come with me and see dad and talk to his doctors."

River sits in stunned silence as the doctors repeat word for word what Amy predicted they would say. When they finish Amy asks for some time alone with her husband and River. As the door shuts behind them she says, "Last time this happened you looked at me with your gorgeous eyes red and swollen and begged me not to let him go. You said I just had to tell him to come back. You insisted he'd listen to me. You were right, but I told them to take him off life support anyway."

River blinks back tears. "Assuming I believe you, how could you do that, especially to him? He loved you. Waited for you, and he waited far longer than you ever waited for the Doctor. He died for you more than once. How could you let him die? Unless . . . Did you want him dead? With him dead you could finally make a play for your precious Doctor." River's voice was a sneer, dripping contempt.

"No, River." Amy's voice is gentle. "Let me finish. You screamed and ranted. I had to threaten to have security throw you from the room before you would be quiet. You waited with me until he drew his last breath, and then you turned and stared at me. You had a look of rage in your eyes that I hope to never see again. You said, 'he is dead and you are dead to me. I will never return here; I will never speak to you again after this day.' And then you walked away. What I couldn't tell you was why I let the hospital take Rory off life support. It was because he was already dead. He died of leukemia when he was twelve years old and I was nine, and staring at him laying in that hospital bed I remembered."

"That's impossible. Worse it's ridiculous. He is my father. He couldn't have died at the age of twelve." River started to turn away.

"No, your father didn't die at the age of twelve, but your father is not Rory Williams."

River whips around. "Don't you ever speak to me again." Each word cracks like a whip. "You lie. I'm part Time Lord because I was conceived on the Tardis." A look of horror crosses her face. "Are you saying the Doctor is my father? Because that is SICK."

"No, the Doctor isn't your father. River,"

"You SLUT!" River screams, "for the last time SHUT UP."

And with a faint popping noise River activates her Vortex Manipulator and is gone.

* * *

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_And what now shall we play?_

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_Now summer's gone away_

* * *

Amy leans forward and kisses Rory gently. She remembers the duck pond she pushed him in the first day they met. They'd had an argument that started when she said Leadworth was so rubbish it didn't even have ducks in its duck pond and ended with her pushing him face first into the small pond in the village square. Even then he'd been in awe of her. He was nine, short for his age, and scrawny. She was six, homesick, and stubborn. They were an unlikely pair, but it worked. It had always worked.

She made up their games and stories. Before the Doctor came she'd been enthralled with princesses and dragons. She was the Dragon Princess and Rory was the knight who had to return all the stupid princesses back to their kingdoms. She was the only princess smart enough to become a dragon. Rory liked being a knight and protested when she told him they were done with knights, dragons, and princesses because she had met the Doctor and everything else was now boring.

Rory had never been popular and hanging out with the bad tempered new kid wasn't going to make him more popular, but Rory Williams did not choose friends based on what he could get out of it. The teasing she'd gotten at school over her obsession with her imaginary friend was nothing compared to the bullying that happened to him. He was three years older and a boy; his classmates were vicious. He never told Amy why they teased him, but he didn't have to. She gave one of them a bloody nose when she caught them tormenting Rory, her Rory, at the park. They stopped meeting at the park after that. It was safer to play in Aunt Sharon's garden.

And then came the leukemia, she remembered her aunt saying "acute lymphoblastic leukemia" like it was a bad taste that had to be spit out. She went to the hospital every day after school. They wouldn't let her in the same room with him. She had to sit on the other side of the window into his room and talk through the intercom system. She told him about the adventures they would have with the Doctor. He didn't have the energy to talk much. He faded away in front of her like the Tardis did, but instead of a few seconds it took six months. She was holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was against hospital policy to have nine-year-old non-family member present, but nothing was going to stop Amelia Pond from granting her friend's last wish. At the age of twelve Rory Williams died for the first time.

Amy wiped tears from her eyes and went to tell Rory's doctors to take him off life support. Once again she would hold his hand.


	9. River Song's Family

**Chapter 9: The Family of River Song**

* * *

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_He cradled her and he rocked her_

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_Even for the Doctor_

* * *

Amy sat in the garden and watched the golden tracks of the fairyflys as they pollinated the night flowers. She wasn't sure what their official names were. The Doctor hadn't thought to leave a field guide with the garden. She didn't mind; naming everything made it feel more special to her.

She knows River will come back. She just has to wait, and she doesn't have to wait long. River materializes in the garden and shouts "Bloody Hell!" before dematerializing. Two seconds later she's rematerializing in another part of the garden. She curses a bit more colorfully this time and tries again. After the fourth try she runs out of the garden and through the house only to come back through the same door thirty seconds later. She finally turns towards Amy frustration in every movement and demands to know what is going on.

"River, you are going to listen to me. If there is only one time in your entire life that you stop and listen it needs to be today. Rory Williams was not your father, and I am not your mother. That's what I was trying to tell you that day in the garden. The Doctor didn't bring you back to us because you never belonged with us. There's been someone shutting my memories away from me and forcing its emotions on me, and that someone is you."

River sputters. "I really have no idea in hell what you are talking about."

"I know. You've locked a lot of your own memories away."

"I'm not listening to this. You are mad. Grief has driven you out of your mind."

"It's not like you're able to go anywhere else at the moment."

"Fine. You have ten minutes."

"Your father was a Time Lord who called himself the Master, better known as Harold Saxon to the inhabitants of earth. He married a human woman named Lucy Cole."

"You said 'was,' he was a Time Lord."

"I'm afraid he is dead, River. He was killed at the end of the year that never was. He had stolen the Doctor's Tardis and used it to take over earth."

"Who killed him?"

Amy doesn't answer. River narrows her eyes and continues talking.

"This can't be true anyway. The Doctor said my time lord DNA is because I was conceived on the Tardis. I have such a strong connection to his ship, and I can't see the Tardis being pleased with the daughter of the man who stole her.

"You were conceived on the Tardis sometime during the two and a half years it was under the Master's control. The Tardis likes you because of who you are. Who your father is doesn't factor into her decision."

"How would you know?"

"I asked." Amy said simply. She paused to give River a chance to respond, but when River doesn't speak she goes back to her explanation.

"After your father died the Silence came for your mother. I don't have reliable information on what they did until the events of Demon's Run. You were never physically on Demon's run the entire time I was there; I don't think we were even in the same time period at that point."

"But you were pregnant, you gave birth, even the Silence couldn't fake that."

"I believe they could have faked a pregnancy, but they took the opportunity to do some experimenting. I was pregnant on Demon's Run. They implanted a Flesh version of you into me, and I gave birth to your replica. Your infant self was controlling the ganger by the time the Doctor arrived. The Silence wanted us to believe you were Rory's and my child and that your Time Lord characteristics were solely because of your conception in the Tardis. A fake sequence of your DNA was left for the Doctor to discover at Demon's Run."

"Why try to pass me off as your child? This doesn't make sense."

"To hurt the Doctor. This has always been about the Doctor. We're the tools they use to get to him. I don't know why they went with that particular plan, but I'm working on it."

"What about Rory? Was he just another tool?" The sneer is back in River's voice.

"Not to me, River, never to me."

"Your ten minutes are up, and I still don't believe you. I do want to hear how you explain Rory's life, my _father's _life."

* * *

"_ Remember Rory. Keep remembering, Rory is only alive in your memory. You must keep hold of him. Don't let anything distract you. Rory still lives in your mind." – The Doctor _

* * *

"It started with the crack in my wall. 'The Universe pouring through my dreams,' the Doctor called it. Or it could have started with the Silence. I'm still not sure if the Silence brought the crack or the crack brought the Silence. Either way the Silence have been messing with my head since I was a little girl.

When Rory died at the age of twelve they saw the perfect opportunity to test their modifications. They wanted to see how well I could control another human body. They created a Flesh ganger and modified a few memories, and instead of Rory Williams being dead everyone, including his own parents, believed he'd had a miraculous recovery. In time they also erased the records and memories associated with his illness."

River cut in, "I don't suppose you actually have any evidence to support this . . . _theory_, do you?

"River, didn't it strike you as odd that Rory died as often as he did? He died and I always brought him back. He kept dying because part of my mind knew he wasn't supposed to be alive. The Silence created a body for him, and used my memories and dreams to make him real. The first time Rory died it was in a shared dream. I ended the dream. The second time was more permanent but completely unnecessary. The Doctor had already used his sonic to disable Silurian weapons, and he was reaching for his sonic to disable Restac's when Rory pushed him out of the way. If only Rory had realized what the Doctor was doing he wouldn't have died, and he wouldn't have been swallowed by the crack in time. I forgot Rory, and I forgot him quickly. I remembered the weeping angels and I remembered the soldiers who were erased on the Byzantium. You'd think that it'd be even easier for me to remember Rory, but I didn't. The Doctor said it was because Rory was a part of my personal history. I think . . . I think I'm getting off subject. He drowned. I revived him. House aged him to death. I cry and he comes back. He dies I bring him back. As long as I need him he can't stay dead."

"Are you telling me that the Rory Williams I know – knew isn't real?"

"Oh, no, River, he was real. He had feelings and he did great things, marvelous things, but he wasn't alive in the usual sense of the world. I loved him. I always will. Some people think love means not being able to live without the object of your affection. They're wrong. That's not love it's obsession. For Rory though, he literally cannot live without me. If I die he dies. If he dies all I have to do is need him and he comes back."

"So why isn't he alive now? Do you not need him anymore? What gave you the right to decide it was his time to die?"

"No, I learned that taking away the difficult choices from people isn't a kindness. I let him decide. I'm rather good at getting in people's heads."

Amy paused and River thought she was going to say something else, but with a small shake of her head Amy continued.

"His was fairly straightforward; it only took me a few seconds. When we first entered the hospital room I took his hand and asked him if he wanted to come back."

River is crying openly now. "Why didn't you tell me that? Why did you let me scream at you?"

"I couldn't tell you. I couldn't risk you knowing that I remembered what the Silence did."

But couldn't you have at least told me this time? You let me call you a slut and run off."

"I'm sorry. I should have, but I wasn't thinking. I was too focused on telling you that Rory wasn't your father to explain properly. You shouldn't blame yourself for your reaction."

When River finally speaks her voice is flat and tired despite the tears that are still streaming down her face. "Is that all?"

"Is what all?"

"You've just told me my parents aren't who I thought they were. My father is dead. The man I thought was my father has been dead but alive and is now definitely dead. I can't leave this stupid, bloody garden, and I don't want to believe you. I don't, but I know you're right. It's just . . ."

River's tears are coming so fast and hard she can no longer speak. Amy walks over and envelops River in a fierce hug. When River's sobs die down into sniffles and hiccups Amy pulls a wad of tissues out of her pocket and hands them to River.

Amy takes a deep breath. "River, I'm sorry, but there is more that I need to tell you."


	10. To Dream a Dream

**Chapter 10: To Dream a Dream**

* * *

"River, I want to show you one of my memories."

Amy reached out a hand and after a brief hesitation River grasped it.

There was a blinding flash of whiteness, and then River cautiously opened her eyes. She and Amy were in a long hallway. The floors, walls, and ceiling were all stark white. The only breaks in the whiteness were the glass windows evenly spaced along the wall each next to a white door that could barely be seen as a break in the smooth wall. As River followed the taller woman down the hall she glanced through the windows. Each looked into a small white room. Some of the rooms were empty, some contained beds or examination tables with what looked vaguely like medical equipment, and some contained metal chairs with restraints. River shivered involuntarily and sped up to walk next to Amy.

As they neared a door at the very end of the hall River noticed that this was the only door without a window next to it. Amy opened the door to reveal a cavernous room. River turned in a circle taking in the whole room. In one corner a partition divided a section from view. The wall opposite the door was one huge window, but the only thing on the other side was darkness. The rest of the room was lined with cabinets. She opened her mouth to ask where they were but swallowed the question when she hears the door opens again. It's Amy – another Amy.

She says, "hello," a little weakly but the new Amy doesn't reply.

Her Amy says, "She can't hear you. No one here can. We're just observing what has already happened.

River nods and starts following memory Amy only to stop in her tracks when she hears a thin but sweet voice singing.

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_She cradled and she rocked her_

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_Till River finds the Doctor_

_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_And what then shall we see?_

_Tick-tock until the day_

_That thou shall return to me_

She's running now, running towards the partition. That song has been in her head her entire life, but the woman isn't singing the right words. She skids around the partition with eyes only for the singer. She's a painfully thin, blond woman with messy hair piled into a bun. There are deep shadows under her eyes, and her skin is so pale River can easily see the blue veins running underneath it. Her blue eyes are bloodshot and slightly unfocused. River turns to see the rest of the partitioned area and gasps.

"Amy, it's me!"

The blond woman is singing to River Song who is lying unmoving on a small bed. Tubes connect her to several machines. River's unruly hair is fanned out on her pillow and the blond woman strokes it absently while continuing her song.

The Amy from the memory clears her throat to get the blond woman's attention. The woman stops singing and turns with a look of hopeless resignation on her face only to start when she sees her.

"You, you, you aren't her." She stutters.

"Hello Lucy Saxon. I'm Amy Pond, and I'm a friend of the Doctor's."

River whirls to face her Amy. "Is that woman supposed to be my mother then, and why am I in that bed? How far into my future are we?"

Amy smiles a bit sadly. "This isn't your future. This is your past, about two hours ago actually. Just listen."

Lucy regains control of her tongue and asks, "Have you come to punish her?" She gestures towards River. "It's not her fault. Truly it isn't. Punish me instead. I didn't protect her. I was so angry and tired, and I just let them . . ." She's crying now, huge racking sobs shaking her small frame.

Amy leans forwards and says quietly, "I haven't come to punish her or you. I've come to save her. How long has she been in a coma?"

Lucy gulps back sobs and manages to say, "About a year. I'm not completely sure. It's hard to keep track of time here."

River can't keep silent any longer. "What do you mean two hours ago? That would mean I'm in a coma now, but I'm not. I'm in your garden with you."

"Please, River, just listen. I'll answer any question I can in a few minutes."

Lucy turns to Amy. "How can you save her? Are you going to take us away from here?"

Amy says, "I'm going to bring her back from inside her head."

"No! You can't. You don't know what she is capable of. I wasn't even trying to get in her head and she pulled me in once. Plus the station runs automated sweeps every fifteen minutes. They're going to detect you soon, and you'll be in horrible danger. She'll wake up, and the station will send a message to Them."

"She, Lucy?"

"Madame Kovarian."

* * *

There's another blinding flash of light, and Amy and River are back in Amy's garden. River starts pacing.

"Explain. Explain everything right now!"

Amy takes a deep breath and starts.

"Your body is in a coma and has been for about a year. Your mind has created its own internal world that you think is reality. I'd been looking for you for a very long time, and when I found you I entered your mind to bring you back. When I said, 'I'm rather good at getting in people's heads.' I meant it, but what I didn't say was I'm a bit less good at getting out of them. Rory was easy. Even with all the extra memories packed in there it was a straightforward process to get in and out. Your mind on the other hand is much more," she paused and made a spastic hand gesture so reminiscent of the Doctor that River's heart ached. "Squiggly."

"I got in your head easily enough, but once I was here your mind overwhelmed mine. I thought I was back in Leadworth with Rory after the Doctor's death. Little things were wrong, but every time I got close to figuring out what was going on your mind would force its version of reality on me. It took Rory's death for me to remember where I was and why I was here. His death was a trigger for me when it happened in my life outside your head, and it worked here the same way."

"So I'm in a coma somewhere, and this world," she gestures expansively, "is all in my head. And somehow Madame Kovarian is involved. How can I trust you?"

"You don't need to River. This is your mind. Search it. Something happened to you that was so painful you created another universe in your own head to escape it. You have to remember that pain yourself. I can only tell you to look and hold your hand while you do."


	11. The Wedding of River Song

**Chapter 11: The Wedding of River Song**_  
_

* * *

_Doctor brave and good_

_He turned away from violence_

_When he understood_

_The Falling of the Silence_

* * *

River grabs Amy's hand and closes her eyes. The world flickers around them as River's memories appear. Amy holds her hand and watches. She sees a small blond girl transforming into Mels, and then her childhood self appears playing hide and seek with Mels and Rory in Aunt Sharon's garden. There is a small dark room with children's toys on the floor and pictures on the dresser. One of the pictures is of Amy holding an infant. Pain twists in Amy's stomach as she remembers that day and remembers her shock when she saw that picture. She knows now that the Silence had planted that picture. They were all over that building like an infestation, and they could easily have prevented her seeing it. They wanted her to see it, but more importantly they wanted River to see it day after day.

Memories are coming more quickly now. River is hooked up to a machine while Madame Kovarian's voice drones over the room's speaker. She's in front of a computer screen with images of the Doctor flickering far faster than a human could follow. The memories speed up again. Soon they flicker in and out too fast for Amy's eyes to follow.

Suddenly everything slams to a stop. Amy and River are standing on the shore of Lake Silencio, and the Doctor is dying. The memory fades and is replaced by River not shooting the Doctor, and that memory is replaced by River and the Doctor getting married and him whispering in her ear, and they're back on the beach watching River kill the Doctor, and then she isn't shooting him, and then the wedding, and then she's shooting him. Amy realizes River is stuck in a loop of memories she can't escape and she wrenches both of them free and back to the garden.

* * *

"_I can't let you die." – River_

"_But I have to die." – The Doctor_

"_Shut up! I can't let you die without knowing you are loved by so many, and so much, and by no one more than me. " – River_

"_River, you and I, we know what this means. We are ground zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die." – The Doctor_

"_I'll suffer if I have to kill you." – River_

"_More than every living thing in the universe?" – The Doctor_

"_Yes." – River_

* * *

River is trembling so badly she can barely stand. Amy guides her into a patio chair and waits for her to speak. When River finally does speak she sounds young, younger than Amy has ever heard her sound in this regeneration.

"I hid because I killed him. When he started to glow he wasn't trying to regenerate. He was showing me his memories of his past and my future. He tried to comfort me. I was killing him and he was comforting me. I saw the man he was too late, and I ran."

"Amy,it doesn't make sense." River's voice is desperate. "I love him, and I stopped time to save him. He showed me the Teselecta. I didn't kill the real Doctor. Why would I stay inside my head if the Doctor is alive?"

"Oh, River, we always forget Rule One. What did you tell the Doctor when you didn't kill him?"

"I told him 'I can't stop it. The suit's in control.'"

"Why did they need to brainwash you if the suit could fire on its own?" Amy didn't wait for an answer. "The suit never could operate on its own. The whole aborted time line happened after you retreated into your head. You created it, and in your head you can control the suit."

Tears are leaking out of the corners of River's eyes. She whispers. "Are you telling me that time line never happened? It wasn't real?"

Amy replies. "To paraphrase a wise, old wizard, 'It happened inside your head . . . but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?' You are special River Song. Your mind is incredible. Just because the time line was in your head doesn't mean it wasn't real. I was there, the Doctor was there, Rory was there, even Madame Kovarian was there. Your mind is so strong you ripped a hole in reality and brought us all with you."

"Then the Doctor is alive! He showed me his plan."

"He lied, River. He believed that he had to die, and he would never risk sacrificing all of reality on the chance he was wrong. He was in your mind, but unlike the rest of us he knew he was in your mind. And since he knew that he could shape reality too. He showed you himself in the Teselecta so you would let him go."

"So that's it? He's dead?"

"He's dead, but there is a little more to the story of his death. I can show you. This is one of my memories from the day the Doctor died."

Once again they're standing on the shore of Lake Silencio. The water shimmers and the sand reflects the near blinding sunlight. Amy faces the lake and points out the ripples that announce the presence of past River in the astronaut suit. Everything happens as River remembers it, she fires, a pause, then two more shots in quick succession, the Doctor starts to regenerate, she fires again, and he falls back unmoving on the sand. River watches her former self wade back into the water until Amy pulls River to face the Doctor and whispers, "watch."

Past Amy is running finally free of River and Rory's attempt to hold her back. She falls to her knees next to the Doctor and when she touches him a little shock runs through her and everyone and everything except her freezes in that moment. A hologram of the Doctor appears.

The hologram speaks. "Amy, the body is me and I am really and truly dead, but I still need you to do something for me. When you touched my body you activated a temporary time bubble. In my top left pocket is a copy of your wristwatch. You need to take it and wind it back ten minutes, and after this message concludes press your thumb to the face of the watch. It's a modified Gallifreyan time ring and it has enough power for a single round trip. You need to take my body to the Tardis. Hold my hand as you press the watch and I will be transported with you. You'll appear in the medbay where there is a stasis chamber set up. Put my body in the chamber. You are not to try to bring me back. The stasis chamber is just to keep my body preserved until the Tardis can safely destroy it."

"Then you need to go to the console room. I've left a Teselecta duplicate of myself on the floor. I've also left a message for you with the Tardis. After you collect your message grab the hand of the Teselecta. You must do this before the ten minutes on your watch is up. As soon as you run out of time you'll be brought back here less than a second after you left. You won't remember this message until much later if you remember it at all."

The hologram pauses, and then softly says, "Amy, I'm so sorry."

With that the hologram flickers out of existence and Amy winds the watch and presses her thumb to its face. She and the Doctor's body disappear to be replaced almost immediately with Amy and the Doctor's replica. Time restarts with no indication that anyone there had noticed anything unusual. The memory dissolves and Amy and River are once again in the garden.

Amy starts speaking before River can even ask. "He wanted his body replaced by the Teselecta for two reasons. He wasn't going to risk any of his DNA being left where it could be taken, and he knew Silence would scan the area and pick up traces of the Teselecta. He wanted them to think he was still alive. He hoped it would help protect us."

"And now River, I have a confession to make. I didn't find you just to rescue you. You have something I need."


	12. Letting Go

**Chapter 12: Letting Go**

* * *

"_I absolutely trust him." – River_

"_He's not some kind of madman then?" – Father Octavian_

"_I absolutely trust him." – River_

* * *

"No."

"No, what?" Said Amy.

"No!" And this time River sounded older and more confident.

"You want something. You waltz in here destroy my world and you want something. Well guess what. You aren't the Doctor. You don't get to change my life and then demand I help you."

"River, you know now that you've been trapped in your own head. You know I told you the truth."

"Why should I believe you told me the complete truth? I'm not going to trust you just because you tell me to. Anyway your story doesn't always make sense. How can I have been in a coma since," and there is a long pause before River continues, "since I killed the Doctor and still come to Leadworth and watched the man you say isn't my father die? I can't be in two places at once."

Amy sighed. "River I didn't want to tell you this yet, but you died the first time the Doctor met you. You sacrificed your life to save him. Used handcuffs too. That was a nice touch."

River tries to speak but nothing comes out. She tries again and manages to croak a single word. "Spoilers."

"Not really. You died, but it wasn't the you that is here in front of me now. If the Silence created a ganger for me what makes you think they haven't been doing the same thing to you? The Silence sent her specifically to save the Doctor by sacrificing herself. They wanted him to trust you, they wanted him to feel guilty, and most of all they wanted him to feel beholden to you.

The Doctor tried to save her. He managed to put her consciousness into a supercomputer, but he couldn't save her life. The entire time he has known you he has the foreknowledge of what he thinks is your death eating away at him. And yet after that experience he still doesn't trust you the next time he meets you. I don't know what he knew or suspected, but he obviously didn't accept the situation at face value."

"In the future I'm stuck in some – Silence cursed computer!"

"No. I don't know your future. Your ganger died. Chronologically it happened in your past actually. You weren't in direct control of that body the way I was with my ganger. The Doctor only thought he'd put her consciousness in the computer. It didn't work; the Silence didn't give her enough of you to survive without a physical form. All he did was put an echo in that computer. Just as well though. I can't think of any version of you that'd be happy spending eternity inside a computer."

"So you're telling me that there are a bunch fake Rivers running around the Universe doing things I have no knowledge of or control over?"

"Yes and no. They're all you to a certain extent. They have your memories and your personality, but they've also all been manipulated by the Silence."

River looks lost. "I don't know what to think anymore. How do you know this anyway?"

"The Silence have detailed records on every you they have ever created."

"Show me?

"Yes, but you need to wake up first."

"Fine. Time to wake up."

"Wait! I still need you to help me. You have something that doesn't belong to you River. And you need to let it go. Let him go."

"Let who go?"

"The Doctor. He wasn't just showing you his memories when he died. He was showing you his soul."

"His Soul?"

"Soul, spirit, consciousness, the bit that's left when you remove all the bits you can measure, what makes him uniquely himself is now in your head."

"Amy," River is almost whispering now, "the longer you talk the less you sound like yourself and the more you sound like the Doctor."

River looks closely at Amy and sees something fleeting and so old pass through her eyes.

"I'm sorry River. It's just me. I've spent too much time with only the Tardis to talk to and my memories to keep me company." She quirks her lips into something resembling a smile and continues, "I know he's gone but you can almost feel him in the Tardis. I talk to him a lot, and the more I talk and the more I remember the more I sound like him."

There is a long pause, and then River starts singing under her breath.

"_Tick-tock goes the clock_

_And what then shall we see?_

_Tick-tock until the day_

_That thou shalt marry me?"_

River stops singing and then chokes out, "Except it won't happen. He's dead and I killed him. I'll never have my happy ending."

"River, I'm sorry, I really am, but it's time for you to let him go."

"How? How can I let go of the most beautiful thing I've ever seen the most wonderful thing I've ever known? Will I even remember him?"

"You'll have all of your own memories left."

"But I won't have him. I won't feel his presence anymore."

"River do it for him. He doesn't belong in your head."

River bows her head. "I know. What do I do?"

"Take my hands and relax."

River and Amy grasped hands and River saw her own mind spread before her like a sky full of stars. Every memory twinkled and shone some with clear light some with angry pulsing colors, but all together they were beautiful. Wrapped among the stars was a glittering field of gold that River knew was the Doctor.

Amy whispered into her mind. "I'm going to pull and you have to let me."

River watched as the gold field unwrapped from her stars and flowed gently away. There was a feather light touch on her mind, and it felt like a farewell.

River spoke, "I'm ready to leave now."

Amy's voice seemed to come from a great distance. "Just open your eyes."

And River opened her eyes to a different world.


	13. Madame Kovarian

**Chapter 13: Madame Kovarian  
**

* * *

"_The child! At all costs, protect the child!" – Vastra_

* * *

"_I see you accessed our files. Do you understand yet? Oh, don't worry, I'm a long way away. But I like to keep tabs on you. The child then what do you think?" – Madame Kovarian_

"_What is she?" – The Doctor_

"_Hope. Hope in this endless, bitter war." – Madame Kovarian_

"_What war? Against who?" – The Doctor_

"_Against you, Doctor." – Madame Kovarian_

* * *

River opened her eyes slowly squinting at the harsh light. The first things she saw were two pale blue eyes peering into her own. Another face moved into her field of vision. It's Amy all flame red hair and green eyes.

"Don't try to move." Amy cautions. "You've been immobile a long time. You'll need to get your strength back slowly. Now River this is your mother, Lucy Saxon, from the memory I showed you."

Lucy spoke for the first time. "Hello River, I don't know what you remember about me, but I'm sorry for not protecting you." She turns towards Amy, "and it's Lucy Cole."

River tries to form words through the jumble in her head, but the only thing that comes out is a raspy murmur. Lucy immediately helps her drink some water and settles her into a more upright position on her pillows.

River finally manages to force out a question. "Why am I so calm? Given everything that has happened to me I should be a wreck right now."

Amy looks sheepish. "That's probably the TARDIS. She thinks you need a break for the moment."

"Where is she?"

"In the corner. I used the cloaking device. You can say hi later." She turns her full attention on Lucy. "How long was I in River's head?"

"Nearly three hours."

"Kovarian will be more than ready by now."

"Explain!" River demands.

"You heard in my memory that the station automatically sweeps for intruders every fifteen minutes. If it detects anything it sends a message to the Silence and it wakes Madame Kovarian from stasis. Before I even materialized on the station I set up all outgoing transmissions to broadcast their usual message; the Silence have no way of detecting my presence. I didn't disable the system waking up Kovarian. I just locked her door. She's been awake for roughly an hour now."

Despite Amy's earlier warning River tries to sit up. Lucy grabs her arm before she can attempt to climb out of bed.

Amy smiles, but it isn't anything close to a happy smile. "Don't move River. I'll bring her to you."

* * *

"_A child is not a weapon!" – The Doctor_

"_Oh, give us time. She can be. She will be." – Madame Kovarian_

"_Except you've already lost her, and I swear I will never let you anywhere near her again." – The Doctor_

"_Oh, Doctor. Fooling you once was a joy but fooling you twice, the same way, it's a privilege." – Madame Kovarian_

* * *

When Amy comes back, dragging Madame Kovarian roughly by one arm all River can think about is that the woman who haunted her childhood shouldn't look so small and old. Amy shoves her where River can easily see her.

Madame Kovarian sneered. "All together now the happy little family. Well except for your precious Doctor. Flew off into the sunset did he? He always did get tired of people quickly."

Amy looked her in the eye and said, "Do you know why I'm here?"

"Revenge, information, it doesn't matter. The Silence will have you soon, and I will be even more highly esteemed for presenting you to them."

"You always thought you were more important than you really were. Even during your greatest moment as you taunted the Doctor you were nothing more than a tiny clog in a giant machine. Now you're not even that. You've been abandoned. Frozen in time on the off chance they might one day find a use for you."

"They left me in charge of the weapon and the mother."

In charge? You weren't even awake. The station has its orders. You couldn't change them if you tried. I think you're here just to see if anyone ever comes to find you. They would be interested in anyone who could."

"I served faithfully. I am one of their most trusted allies."

"Then why are you here? What part of their plan left you here? They didn't tell you. They didn't thank you. You were just left here without orders and without a purpose. You, Madame, are nothing more than a spare part." Amy laughed without humor. "They didn't even leave with your signature eye patch."

"Eye drive!" Madame Kovarian corrects fiercely as she instinctively raised a hand to her eye.

"It doesn't matter. You don't matter."

A hint of doubt finally enters Madame Kovarian's eyes, but it is quickly replaced by anger.

"Then why find me? If I'm so unimportant why bother to look for me?" Her voice is triumphant. "You need me."

Amy turns her back on the woman and addresses River and Lucy.

"She isn't important. You two are."

Furious at being ignored Madame Kovarian lunges for Amy, but is brought up short by a force field that flares into life right before her hands would have connected with Amy's skin.

Amy responds without even turning around. "Tsk, tsk, Madame. Bad manners. I've surrounded you with a specialized force field. I can touch you, but it won't allow you to touch anything; there's even space between your feet and the floor."

"You think you're special? Where's the Doctor then? He just keeps you around to do his dirty work."

Amy turns to face the woman she once hated more than she thought it was possible to hate anyone.

"You don't remember, but I've already killed you once. He would have saved you, but I didn't. I didn't find any mercy in myself. Once again he isn't here to protect you. Scared yet? You should be."

Madame Kovarian does look frightened. Her careful façade is crumbling. "You couldn't. You wouldn't kill me."

"I could and I did. Not this time though. This time I'm going to offer you a choice. I'm going to go into your mind and erase every memory associated with the Silence, with the Doctor, and with his friends. Your choice is you either fight my presence in your mind or let me work unhindered."

"And if I fight you?"

"I erase everything. Every memory, every skill, and every thought you have ever had."

"You wouldn't."

Amy drops her voice and leans in until her face is only inches away from Kovarian. "Don't you ever presume to tell me what I would or wouldn't do." Amy straightens back up and continues in a more normal tone of voice. "And then I drop you off somewhere and somewhen nice and quiet. It's up to you at that point what you make of your life."

"The Silence will look for me. They'll find me."

"I rather doubt it, but it won't matter if they do. They won't be able to get anything useful from your mind."

River finally speaks up.

"What about me? Do I get a say in what happens to her?"

Amy's eyes widen and she looks contrite. "Of course. I'm sorry. What do you think should be done?"

"I don't think she deserves a choice. Wipe everything."

Amy walks over to River and takes her hand. "You're right. She doesn't deserve a choice, but I have to give her one. I promised myself after I killed her that I would never act without mercy again. I have to give her a choice."

River pulls her hand out of Amy's grip. "Fine. Don't expect me to be happy about it though."

Amy bows her head. "Understood." She turns to Lucy. "And you, what do you think?"

Lucy swallows hard and whispers, "if anyone doesn't deserve mercy it is me. I can't deny it to someone else."

Amy whirls back to face Kovarian. "Your choice. Now." And there is steel in her voice."

Madame Kovarian laughs a bit madly. "I choose death." And she rips a patch that had been masquerading as skin off her arm.

"Death would certainly be easier. But you don't get the easy way out. Your toxin has already been neutralized. Your only choices are the ones I give you. Resist or cooperate. Either way you spend the rest of your life where you will not harm anyone I love ever again."

Amy reached forward and grabbed Madame Kovarian's face with both her hands. "Choose."

* * *

**As I get close to wrapping this story up I'd love any feedback you guys have. **


	14. Back to the TARDIS

**Chapter 14: Back on the TARDIS**

* * *

_Sorry about running off earlier. Brand-new TARDIS - bit exciting. Just had a quick hop to the moon and back to run her in. She's ready for the big stuff now." – The Doctor_

* * *

_I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how, she taught me. The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean?" – River_

* * *

"What did she choose?" Asked River.

"She chose to forget everything. She didn't fight me, but the deeper I went back into her memories the more regret I saw. She asked me to erase everything. She wants a fresh start."

Amy pulled a small black device from a pocket in her leather jacket and pressed it to Kovarian's arm. "I'm injecting her with a subdermal perception filter. It'll masquerade as ordinary red blood cells while it conceals her appearance and projects a new DNA sequence in case the Silence ever scan her."

Before Amy had even finished speaking. Madame Kovarian had morphed into a plump elderly woman. Amy fiddled with the gold watch on her wrist and disappeared taking Kovarian with her. She popped back into existence a split second later with a satisfied look on her face.

"Well that's done. Dropped her in an empty hospital room with enough credits to set her up in a little cottage once she's on her feet. I even disinfected her and burnt her clothes. She doesn't have a trace of this place left on her."

"Where did you leave her?"

"With the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. We left you there once."

"I remember." Said River softly. "It was after I used the rest of my regenerations to save the Doctor. The Sisters were very kind."

"Yes, except you didn't really use up the rest of your regenerations. The Doctor lied. I think he worried you wouldn't be careful enough with your body unless you thought it was your last one."

River's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

Amy clapped her hands. "Time to get a move on. River, this is for you." She handed River a silver stick about the size and shape of a pen that she'd pulled out of another pocket on her jacket.

"What is it?"

"All the information about you that was stored on this base plus a few things I found elsewhere." She turned to Lucy. "You have a few minutes to grab anything you want to take with you."

"I don't want to take anything with me," Lucy said softly.

"River?"

"Nothing I want either."

"Very good then. To the TARDIS!"

Lucy had detached River from the machines while Amy had dealt with Kovarian so all that remained was to move River. Amy bent down to pick her up but Lucy stopped her.

"I'm her mother. I'll carry her."

Amy wasn't sure Lucy would be able to manage. River was a petite woman, but Lucy was thin to the point of emaciation. She held her tongue though and let Lucy pick up her daughter. It took quite a bit longer for Lucy to carry River to the TARDIS than it would have taken for Amy to carry her, but Amy managed to curb her impatience. When they reached the apparently empty corner of the room Amy snapped her fingers and the TARDIS door swung open.

River let out a soft sigh as soon as she was inside the TARDIS. Lucy lowered her onto one of the chairs near the console and sunk down next to her. River felt a wave of peace and encouragement emanating from the TARDIS and her eyes start to droop. She forced them open. She has too many questions to sleep now.

Amy swings the door shut and locks it before taking them into the vortex. River's heart aches as she watches Amy. Her movements are so like the Doctor's and yet so different. They both brush long fingers lovingly on the buttons and levers, but where the Doctor would bounce around with manic energy Amy flowed dancing around the console to music only she and the TARDIS could hear. When Amy stopped moving she remained touching the console for a few seconds her head bowed before she turned to River and Lucy.

"Sleep for you two. I'm going to set you up in the sickbay for now. You both have some recuperating to do."

"But . . ." River tries to object but Amy is having none of it.

"I know you have questions, but they'll have to wait until after you rest. Anyways I have an asteroid to make disappear. Demon's Run is about to vanish from history."

"Are you going to blow it up?"

"Nope. I'm going to push it into a black hole. No fuss, no muss, and no awkward bits of debris floating around. Now no more questions. Bed."

"Wait, just one more."

River had been studying Amy intently ever since they'd entered the TARDIS. There was something different about her. She was dressed as River remembered her dressing when she traveled with the Doctor. She wore a maroon jumper, brown leather jacket, skinny trousers, beat up cowboy boots, her gold watch and a small silver necklace, but it wasn't the same necklace that River remembered.

"Is that a bow tie charm on your necklace!"

Amy grinned. "It is indeed. Bow ties are cool."

And both women dissolved into laughter. As her giggles died down River realized that the difference she detected in Amy had nothing to do with her outward appearance. It was her eyes. The weary, old look in her eyes was the same look the Doctor often had, but before she could contemplate further she felt the TARDIS encouraging her to sleep. She let herself be carried to the sickbay and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

"_Goodnight, Amelia." – The Doctor_

"_You only call me Amelia when you're worrying about me." – Amy_

"_I always worry about you." – The Doctor_

"_Mutual." – Amy_

* * *

Demon's run, Amy hated that place hated everything it stood for. An explosion would have been cathartic, but watching the asteroid be sucked into a black hole was its own sort of comfort. When she was sure the asteroid was completely gone she moved the TARDIS back into the vortex and wearily headed down the hallway. She was heading to a room she knew the TARDIS wouldn't let River or Lucy find. She needed a moment to let her guard down, but more than anything else she needed to talk to him.

She slipped into a room through a door that looks like every other door in the hallway and walked up to the glass case opposite the door. She leans her forehead against the glass and the case lights up at her touch. In front of her eyes closed as if he were merely sleeping is the Doctor.

"I found them. I found River and Lucy. They're safe now, and I'll do everything in my power to keep them that way. Why did you have to make it so hard? Why did you let me believe she was my daughter? I know you thought she had to be the one to kill you and that her compliance with the Silence was part of the fixed point, but surely you could have told Rory and me she wasn't our daughter. I would have still grieved for her, but I wouldn't have been so angry with you.

She is brilliant. I wonder if you knew how powerful her mind would be. Did you anticipate that she would create a new timeline to save you? If you hadn't lied to her so the normal timeline could restart what would have happened? Would we have been stuck in her head in a collapsing world? Would it have spread to engulf the entire Universe? She was willing to destroy all of reality to save you. I won't do that. You wouldn't thank me for it if I tried, but I can't give you up either. You really are a beautiful idiot. Did you really think I'd let the TARDIS dispose of your body without a fight? Not that it was much of a fight. She didn't want you to go either. So here you are my Raggedy Doctor in a box inside a bigger box traveling through time and space. And as long as there is breath in my body I will never let you go."

She stood there with her head against the glass telling the Doctor about her time in River's head and the pain and shock she felt having to watch him die again and to watch Rory die again. She kept talking until she'd told him every last detail of her rescue of River and Lucy, the choice she gave Madame Kovarian, and the destruction of Demon's Run. Then she stood and just stared at him tears leaking down her face. She would have stayed there looking at him until her knees gave out if it hadn't been for the gentle nudge from the TARDIS reminding her that others needed her.

As she painfully stretched her sore muscles she whispered one last thing before leaving the room.

"I miss you Raggedy man. I need you."


	15. The Silence

**Author's Note: The passages in bold are religious texts of the Silence. The one that is both bolded and italicized is taken directly from the television show.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Silence**

"_This was exactly you all this all of it. You make them so afraid. When you began, all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name, Doctor, the word for healer and wise man, throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word 'Doctor' means mighty warrior. How far you've come. And now they've taken a child the child of your best friends and they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love in fear of you." – River_

* * *

"_Annihilate? No. No violence, do you understand me? Not while I'm around. Not today, not ever. I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm." – The Doctor_

* * *

Amy pasted on a smile and tried to put a spring in her step as she walked into the sickbay. She'd made a quick detour to the kitchen on her way and picked up some food for the three of them. She was determined to be strong for them.

"Food first then questions." She announced before River could start what was sure to be a relentless flood of questioning.

River stared at the ceiling for a few minutes after she finished eating. "I don't even know where to start," she admitted.

"I could tell you what I've learned about the Silence," Amy offered.

"That works," said River.

Amy settled herself more comfortably in her chair and started speaking.

"You know the Silence is a religious order." River and Lucy nodded. "They are a secretive religion, but I was able to get my hands on some of their religious texts. I've only had time to go through a fraction of them, and what I've found so far is badly fragmented. I'll share what I have so far and would welcome any help in going through the rest of the texts."

She pulled a large, ancient looking book from her pocket. River looked at the book and back at Amy's pocket. Amy had managed to get the Doctor's pocket expanding trick to work for her because there was no way a book that large would normally fit into a pocket that small. Amy flipped through the book until she found the passage she wanted.

"The following is taken from the oldest text I was able to find:

'**Before there was a beginning there was a Storm, and in the Heart of the Storm was all that ever had been, all that there ever would be, all that was, and all that could be. **

**Out of that storm the Universe was birthed. The lightning sparked stars, the thunder created planets, the rain gave brought forth all life, and the wind bound every part to each other. The Chosen worshiped and it was good. **

**Discord crept into the Storm, and it was both new and had always existed. The Storm became flesh, and the Heart walked among the stars. The Chosen wept.' – Book of Beginnings Chapter 1 Verses 1-3**

I think the Silence believe the Doctor is the Heart of the Storm. They treat him as both their Devil and their God. He's been called the oncoming storm, the lonely god, and he himself said it was possible for him to be a vengeful god. Colonel Manton made it a point to tell his soldiers the Doctor was neither a devil nor a god. Why would he do that unless his soldiers believed he was one or both of those things? His childhood nickname was Theta Sigma which in early earth history often was used as an abbreviation for god. You even left him a message including those symbols when you were telling us to join you for the opening of the Pandorica."

River's eyes widen. "I don't remember doing that."

"Have you looked through the information I gave you on your replicas yet?"

"I only looked at the information on the replica who died in the library. I needed a break after that."

Amy nodded her understanding. "When you feel up to it look up anything they have on the Pandorica. Maybe it will help you think of something.

A few hours passed as River and Amy continued to discuss the verses. Lucy didn't say anything, but she occasionally nodded in agreement to comments the other two made. Amy finally broke off the discussion to make sure everyone ate again and then declared it bedtime.

The next morning Amy dragged a large stack of books, scrolls, and ancient bits of paper into the sickbay and they started again. Over the next few weeks the three women settle into a routine. They relaxed a little, and jokes were once again heard in the TARDIS. River and Lucy moved out of the sickbay and into rooms of their own. Lucy found the swimming pool by falling in one morning as she was looking for the kitchen. They spend most of their days helping Amy go through the mounds of texts she'd acquired about the Silence. River was starting to wonder if Amy slept. No matter how early she got up Amy was already in the library a glass of tea or cocoa in one hand and papers in the other.

One morning River was midway through a scroll that was mainly a mess of blots and water damage when she looked up and yelled, "I recognize something!" She points at a few words that are barely visible under a constellation of blotches. "It says, 'Demons run,' and further down here it says 'love lies' and at the very top," River runs her finger up the scroll. "Yes! It says the 'Book of Prophecy Chapter 11.' I know this. I was taught it as a child." River closes her eyes and recites:

'_**Demons run when a good man goes to war.**_

_**Night will fall and drown the sun**_

_**When a good man goes to war.**_

_**Friendship dies and true love lies,**_

_**Night will fall and the dark will rise**_

_**When a good man goes to war.**_

_**Demons run, but count the cost.**_

**_The battle's won, but the child is lost.' – _The Book of Prophecy Chapter 11 Verses 3-6**

Amy gets up and starts pacing. "It's obvious you are the lost child. I suppose Rory could have been the good man, but based on what we know so far I'm willing to bet it's the Doctor."

River scrunches up her forehead. "I agree, but what about the demons? It doesn't make much sense that the Silence would call themselves or their allies demons."

"The Doctor!"

"What?"

"The Doctor is both the good man and the demons. He is both the sun and the night. He is running from himself."

Lucy interjected, "What about 'friendship dies and true love lies?'"

"True love lies." Amy muttered increasing the speed of her pacing. "The obvious interpretation is that someone's true love lied which if the whole thing focuses on the Doctor it would suggest you lied, River."

River looks affronted. "I thought everything I said that day was true."

"Not exactly helpful." She stops pacing and runs out of the room. A few minutes later she returns with a pile of papers.

"Here you go," she says as she hands River and Lucy piles of papers. "This is transcript of everything River said in regards to the events of Demons Run starting with Rory's visit."

"How in the universe did you get that?"

Amy looked momentarily embarrassed. "Can't tell you right now."

Amy resumes pacing while the other two read the transcripts. "What do we know? Focusing only on your claims in regards to Demons Run we get:

1. You couldn't be at Demons Run until the end

2. It was the day the Doctor learned who you are

3. You couldn't have prevented the events of Demons Run

4. The events were the fault of the Doctor

5. You were Melody my daughter

"We know the last one is a lie. What about the rest? What if it isn't anything you said but instead some part of the verse is the lie or lies? What if true love is a lie? The lie could be your love of the Doctor, or it could be Rory's and my relationship that is the lie since he only existed through me. My friendship with the Doctor didn't die. Could they mean Rory's friendship with the Doctor?" Amy stopped pacing and collapsed into a chair. "Maybe I'm thinking about this too literally. We need more information."

Amy spoke incredibly quickly and once again River was forcibly reminded of the Doctor. They stayed up talking far past what River and Lucy normally considered bedtime only stopping when Lucy fell asleep sitting up.

* * *

River and Lucy had been on the Tardis nearly a month when River couldn't find Amy one day. She checked every room she could find, and finally decided that Amy would find them when she was ready. It took Amy two days to emerge. She just popped up in the library one morning. River took one look at her drawn face and decided not even to ask where she'd been. Lucy went to the kitchen and returned with tea and biscuits she made sure Amy consumed. It wasn't until the next morning that Amy even talked to them beyond an occasional "yes" or "no" answer.

* * *

"_Amy, you need to start trusting me, it's never been more important." – The Doctor_

"_But you don't always tell me the truth." – Amy_

"_If I always told you the truth, I wouldn't need you to trust me." – The Doctor_

* * *

Amy Pond was furious, and she was screaming at a dead man. She'd long ago moved her belongings into the Doctor's room. She'd felt a little guilty, but she couldn't go back to the room she shared with Rory. That part of her life was done, and any other room was far too lonely. The Doctor's things were nearly all as he left them. Amy had only straightened up a little and shoved his clothing into the back of the closet to make room for hers. The room smelled like him still, and it was an enormous comfort to lie back in the big bed, close her eyes, and imagine he was still alive.

With River and Lucy on board she was less lonely than she had been since the day Rory died, but River brought back so many painful memories. When she just couldn't stand his absence any longer she rooted in the back of the closet until she found one of his jackets. That night she fell asleep clutching it. A few hours later she woke up to something digging unpleasantly into her side. She had rolled over onto the Doctor's jacket during the night and something from one of his pockets was poking her. The TARDIS turned on the lights for her and bleary eyed she dug into his pocket until she pulled out a blue book, a TARDIS blue book, his diary. She didn't even hesitate before opening it and beginning to read. An hour later she was in the TARDIS's secret room screaming at a dead man.

"You knew! How long? HOW long Doctor!" And then she's not even sure what she's saying. She just knows that he can't hear her can't see her, and the mixture of sobs and words she's throwing at him can only rebound on herself. Eventually she runs out of words and out of tears. She wakes up hours later stiff from sleeping on the floor and moves to the small couch in the corner.

She starts talking to him again. "I found the prophecy. Found it in your diary. It'd be easier if I could hate you. I can't. I'm angry far angrier than I've ever been, and I'm hurting, but I can't hate you. You always thought you knew best. You lied to protect us, but that wasn't your responsibility. You failed to trust me. You wanted my unconditional trust, and I gave it to you. Did you ever trust me?"

Amy stayed in the secret room, the Doctor's tomb, for nearly an entire day before sneaking back to the bedroom that used to be his. It took her another day before she could face River and Lucy and one more after that before she could share what she'd learned.

* * *

_"Memories are more powerful than you think, and Amy Pond is not an ordinary girl. Grew up with a time crack in her wall. The universe pouring through her dreams every night." – The Doctor_

* * *

"_Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor." – River_

"_Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopath." – The Doctor_

* * *

The third day after Amy found the bit of paper folded up in the Doctor's diary she managed to bring it up with River and Lucy. When they wandered into the library that morning she studied their faces memorizing their expressions. She was afraid of how their faces would change after she told them. She finally took a deep breath and announced, "I found something."

She pulled the ancient bit of paper out of one of her endless pockets and carefully laid it on the table in front of her. She made eye contact with River and then Lucy. This one is important. The translation is a bit," she waved a hand, "wonky. Whoever copied it from the original it seemed to have an obsession with rhyming. The results are mixed.

'_**Two women tied by time. **_

_**One for birth one for death.**_

_**One born free to a cage be bound. **_

_**Lost to silence she gives birth to sound. **_

_**Born from her body, yet not of her blood. **_

_**Created in darkness wanting to be found. **_

_**Belonging half to the flesh half to the sound.**_

_**Once of life twice of death**_

_**Time twisted a perfect breath**_

_**One to trust, one to lie, **_

_**True love to friendship die.'**_ – Book of Prophecy Chapter 7, The Song of the Silence"

There is silence when she finishes reciting the prophecy. She hadn't needed the paper in front of her. The words were burned in her brain; she could see them when she closed her eyes. The other two women immediately pull the paper towards them to read it for themselves, and she starts pacing and talking.

"There's so much I'm guessing at and more that I don't know, but I believe you and I, River, are the two women bound by time. They have shaped our lives to fit what they think must happen. I am for birth you are for death. You were born from my body but not of my blood."

Lucy interrupted. "Technically she was born from my body. You only gave birth to a flesh replica."

Amy frowned. "It could be a translation problem, or perhaps it's not meant to be completely literal. The point is I think River and I are the tools they decided to use to remove the discord from the Heart of the Storm, and I think their plan revolves around the Pandorica.

* * *

**Author's Note: Theta Sigma is shorthand for god found in Greek translations of the new testament****. All of the names for the Doctor except the Heart of the Storm appear in Doctor Who canon. **

**Also worth noting is an older definition of the word bespoke is "engaged to be married."**


	16. The Pandorica

**Chapter 16: The Pandorica**

* * *

"_Why's it exploding?" – Amy_

"_I assume it's some kind of warning." – River_

"_Something's going to happen to the TARDIS?" – Amy_

"_It might not be that literal. Anyway this is where he wanted you. Date and map reference on the door sign, see?" – River_

* * *

River and Lucy looked stunned after Amy's announcement that she thought the Pandorica was a plan of the Silence. Amy didn't wait for a response before she started talking again.

"River, did the information I recovered from the Silence help you think of anything related to the Pandorica?"

River roused herself from her shocked state and responded. "I didn't find anything new in the data."

"Well could you tell us everything you remember about what happened before the Doctor and I arrived?"

When River finished her account she looked pensive and then said. "Isn't it odd that when I went to the Starship UK in the 52nd century to retrieve Van Gogh's painting Liz 10 was still there and guarding the Royal Collection on her own."

Amy nodded. "That would make her 2,550 years old, maybe older. And why would she be guarding the Royal Collection? That isn't the job of a queen."

Lucy looked confused. "Does it matter how the painting got to the Doctor?"

It matters very much." Amy started to pace. "The painting drew the Doctor to the Pandorica. It was an authentic Van Gogh and the Doctor theorized the signal emanating from Stonehenge reached him and caused him to paint it as a warning. If a signal about the Pandorica reached him why would he paint the TARDIS exploding? Shouldn't he have painted the Pandorica itself? And it was extremely convenient that he managed to include exact coordinates."

"Are you saying something besides the warning signal inspired his painting?" River asked.

"Yes."

Lucy wrinkled her forehead. "What does that have to do with Liz 10's age and her guarding the collection?"

"I don't know, but it's an anomaly in a series of events that already don't make sense. The Doctor didn't know anything about the painting until he was already where and when he was to be trapped, and River you led him there. Winston Churchill talked to you. You found the painting. You wrote the message that led him there, and you included a nickname for him that you don't remember writing."

"It sounds like you are saying I knowingly led him into a trap."

"Not knowingly, but I believe the Silence controlled your actions."

"They couldn't have."

"Why not? You know what they are capable of. Why would you think they would ever let you go? Plus don't you find it odd that you could escape the Stormcage at any time? That you managed to hang on to your hallucinogenic lipstick even though you were in prison?"

Lucy interrupted again. "Why was River even in prison? She spent the entire year after the Doctor's death in a coma."

"Timey-whimey, said Amy.

"What?"

"She was arrested and tried before she committed the crime in her own time stream. When I first met River she knew she would eventually kill the Doctor because she was in prison for killing him even though she hadn't personally done it yet. Time travel can reek havoc with cause and effect." Amy turned back to River. "You had the power to leave your prison cell at any time. Why did you stay?"

"To protect him; as long as I was in prison people would continue to think he's dead."

"That doesn't make sense River. You didn't need to be in prison for people to believe the Doctor is dead. It's enough that you be sentenced. I used to think you stayed because you felt guilty; that you stayed as part of your atonement. Now I think you stayed because you had orders to stay."

River starts to hyperventilate. "You're telling me my entire life everything I am has never been my own decision." she spits out in between sucking in large quantities of air. When she finally calms down she declares the whole business "insane" and stalks off.

* * *

"_Your favorite school topic, your favorite story. Never ignore a coincidence, unless you're busy. In which case, always ignore a coincidence." – The Doctor_

"_It's a trap, it has to be. They used Amy to construct a scenario you'd believe, to get close to you." – River_

* * *

It took a few days before River was willing to listen to the rest of Amy's theory. She was adamant that Amy was wrong, but she was too curious to avoid the subject forever. So one morning she let Amy pick up where she left off. Amy was once again pacing around the room when she started speaking.

"River, you were the one who opened the underhenge and took us below. You were the one who took readings to determine how many starships there were and what races were present. What if there weren't nearly as many as your readings showed? What if the only ones there were the ones we actually saw?"

River glared. Amy sighed and resumed talking.

"Every one of your actions was dictated by the Silence."

"River interrupts angrily. "But I told him to run! I didn't want him to stay and face danger."

"River, I'm not saying you didn't care for the Doctor. You did, you do, but telling him to run doesn't really mean anything. You know he would never run from something like that. The Silence would know the same thing.

The Doctor then sends you to ask the Romans for help. Your first volunteer was Rory, and he volunteers before he even knows what is going on; all he needed was the sound of your voice. A little too convenient I think."

"He was an Auton controlled by the Nestene Consciousness; my voice had nothing to do with it."

"The Nestene Consciousness controlled the Autons, but I think the Silence controlled the Nestene. Have you ever seen an Auton that sophisticated? The voices were perfect, the skin was perfect, and they acted human. The level of mimicry is far beyond anything the Nestene Consciousness has ever accomplished before." River didn't reply. After a few seconds Amy resumed speaking. "So we have our fake Romans led by Auton Rory heading to Stonehenge to supposedly help the Doctor and we have you going to retrieve the TARDIS. And that's when things got complicated."

* * *

"_So can you open it?" – River_

"_Easily. Anyone can break INTO a prison, but I'd rather know what I'm going to find first." – The Doctor_

* * *

Lucy blinks. "It doesn't seem possible that things could get more complicated."

Amy laughs. "Good point, but I'm afraid it really does get more confusing. For starters, isn't it odd that what is supposed to be the perfect prison is so easy to open from the outside?"

Lucy nodded. "Definitely."

"All you needed was a sonic screwdriver. Did they really think that the Doctor was the only one who could use one of those? River had her own screwdriver at one point. In a now erased timeline I made my own screwdriver. Plus there are other versions of the Doctor running around the universe with their own screwdrivers. It seems an awfully obvious mistake."

"The Doctor's enemies often make mistakes." Grumbled River.

"Speaking of enemies in what reality is it possible to get so many of the Doctor's enemies in one room without them turning on each other? Why would a race like the Daleks who despise all other life form agree to work with others? Who came up with the plan to capture the Doctor? How did they all know about the cracks in the first place? I think it had to be the Silence who orchestrated their alliance."

"Wait. If the Doctor was supposed to be able to escape why build the Pandorica in the first place?" River asked. She hoped her question would stump Amy, and then they could forget this whole horrible line of thought. Instead Amy answered instantly and what she said made River's breath stick in her throat.

"They needed him to use it to close the cracks, it wasn't supposed to be his prison. It was intended to be mine. It was my memories that they constructed the trap around.

Remember the prophecies.

'**One for birth one for death**.

**One born free to a cage be bound.'**

'**Discord crept into the Storm, and it was both new and had always existed.'**

It was my first cage. And it was my first birth. The Doctor restarted the Universe, but I brought back the Doctor. They were using me to remove the discord from the Heart of the Storm. Because that discord was both new and yet had always existed they decided he needed to touch every part of time and space. They kept me in that cage nearly 2,000 years pouring the Universe into my head and shaping me into the tool that would bring back only what they wanted, the Doctor without the Discord. They were remaking the Hear of the Storm. The Doctor brought back the Universe, but I brought back the Doctor. And because he touched every part of space and time so did I. I gave the Silence their new Universe; the first birth they needed from me."

"Why are you so sure the Pandorica was supposed to be your prison?" If anything River looks more skeptical than she did before.

Amy finally stopped pacing and fell into a chair. "I'm sure because of Rory. Funny how Rory showed up at the exact time I was being attacked by a Cyberman. The Doctor was conveniently incapacitated just long enough for Rory to rescue me. He remembered me and remembered the Doctor, but he couldn't break conditioning not even to stop himself from "killing" me, and because of that I had to be put into the Pandorica."

River wasn't convinced. "If he was under the control of the Silence why would he volunteer to guard you at such a great personal cost."

"The Silence call themselves the Sentinels of History, and I'm sure they thought it was a nice touch to have Rory stand sentinel over the Pandorica. He was the perfect person to make the Doctor more comfortable with leaving me. It was never a choice he made for himself. I didn't need a guard to keep me safe. The Pandorica was indestructible, and anyone who could let me out was already an ally. The guard was to keep the Doctor from popping back and letting me out early. I realized that Rory never needed to stay when he told me what he asked the Doctor that day; I just didn't know why until I found the prophecy.

'_Will she be safer if I stay? Look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn't be safer." – Rory_

_"Rory..." – The Doctor_

_"Answer me!" – Rory_

_"Yes. Obviously." – The Doctor'_

'Yes. Obviously,' is a non-answer. It means nothing. I think at that point the Doctor had realized something was wrong, but he didn't know what it was and he didn't have time to fix it. The Silence kept him off balance with the reappearance of Rory, with the fantastical collection of his enemies, with the Pandorica itself, and with you, River. I think the Doctor had so used to the improbable that he failed to recognize the impossible until it was too late."

"You're telling me that Rory's bravery means nothing?"

"Of course not! He thought he was making the choice for himself. He was ready to make that sacrifice on his own. He really did love me." Amy turned away and whispered too low for the others to hear, "I need to believe he loved me."

Lucy who had listened intently to Amy's theory sighed and turned to River. "I know you don't want to believe this, but it makes a twisted sort of sense. I can't say I understand it all, but I trust Amy."

Amy spoke again. "It explains a lot about my life like what happened to my parents. If they had been sucked into a crack when I was a little girl I should have ceased to exist when they did. I never should have met the Doctor. They actually died when I was little, and the Silence erased that memory. The Silence created my parents in the rebooted universe, and they created a new Rory to replace the plastic one.

It'd also explains why the Doctor didn't come back until I remembered him, but you, River, left his diary for me. How did you know to do that? If you remembered him why didn't you just tell me? The Silence were intent that I be the one to remember and they manipulated events to make that happen. Long before the Pandorica they planted in you a compulsion to show up at my wedding and leave me that diary.

It also explains how I could control my ganger through time and space and even into the TARDIS. They knew if I remembered the Doctor and his Tardis back into existence I would have an unbreakable connection to both of them. It had nothing to do with advanced technology and everything to do with my brain."

River made one last effort to change Amy's mind. "If Rory wasn't really Rory how come the Doctor didn't melt him when he melted your ganger?"

"I don't think he was a ganger. My best guess is he was a clone at that point."

Amy stood and stretched. "I realize this is a theory. I can't prove it, but I believe the evidence we have supports it. And I have definitely been talking too long. I'm going to go swimming.


	17. Until We Meet Again

**Chapter 17: Until We Meet Again**

* * *

"_So... You're leaving, aren't you?" – Amy_

"_You haven't seen the last of me. Bad Penny is my middle name! Seriously, the looks I get when I fill in a form..." – The Doctor_

* * *

A week after that day in the library Amy is floating in the pool. It showed up in her bedroom that morning and Amy sent a wordless exclamation of glee and thanks to the TARDIS before jumping in. She made a gloriously large splash, and then managed to not think of anything for an entire hour. She studied the ceiling; she stared at the bottom of the pool counting the tiles shaped like fish, and admired the clearness of the water. It was an amazing feeling not thinking, but after an hour she felt a nudge from the TARDIS.

"I know old girl. I know. I just don't want to yet." Another nudge and Amy sighed. She knew the old girl was right. It was time to talk to River and Lucy and then move on. She had responsibilities that she was avoiding. Amy climbed out of the pool and went to shower. She wasn't surprised that the pool was gone when she came out to get dressed.

She walks slowly down the corridor wishing futilely the door to the kitchen would be lost and she could wait just a little while longer, but again came the nudge from the TARDIS. Amy took a deep breath and pushes open the door she'd been trying not to see.

* * *

"_After everything we've been through, Doctor. Everything. You can't just drop me off at my house and say goodbye like we shared a cab." – Amy_

* * *

"Why do we have to leave? I'm the child of the TARDIS. If anyone should get to stay with her it's me."

Amy looked at her and saw the tears threatening to spill out; her own breath hitches and she pulls River into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but you can't come. There's something I need to do, and I have to do it alone." River nods, and Amy knows it isn't because of anything she says but it's because the TARDIS is telling her she must leave. And then they're both crying and it's a relief and a release.

They'd all agreed not to stretch out the goodbyes so the next morning River and Lucy walk into the console room with the few things they were taking with them. Lucy had some books from the library, and River had a photo album she'd found lying on her bed. Amy flitted about and if you didn't look in her eyes you wouldn't know she was in pain. She handed them both communicators "if you need me I'll come if it's at all possible I will come" and then she's back at the console stroking the levers and buttons, tapping something on the typewriter before running back over to give them little boxes that have come out of one of her endless pockets. "Don't open them yet! You have to wait until I'm gone."

Yesterday before they went to bed she'd injected them both with subdermal perception filters. Lucy was now a petite brunette who looked to be in her mid 40s. River chose to look like she was in her early 20s with caramel colored skin and huge brown eyes. They'd picked a quiet world just entering its industrial phase. It was very similar to earth except for the four moons and lilac colored sky. Amy made sure that they would have enough of that world's currency to not worry about money, and she got the TARDIS to also provide identification papers and a book detailing the history of their new planet.

She assured them they weren't stuck on that world or in that time. She gave them each a Gallifreyan time ring explaining they were as superior to time vortex manipulators as humans were superior to amoebas. River was entranced. She and Amy got into a lively discussion on the differences between different time travel devices that didn't end until they'd completely dismantled one of the time rings and put it back together.

But now it's the morning and they're saying their goodbyes. Amy pulls River into a bone-crushing hug and then looks her in the eyes.

"River I may not be your mother, but you will always be part of my family." River nods and whispers, "thank you."

Amy tells Lucy to "look after River and to look after herself." And when Lucy asks, "who is going to look after you?" Amy just gives her another hug.

They walk out the door into the bright sunshine, and then Amy is pulling the door of the TARDIS shut and walking back to the console. This time she is the one to fly off and leave, and it hurts just as much as being the one left behind. As the wheezing of the Tardis fills the air she closes her eyes and feels the knot tight in her chest and the unshed tears burning in her throat. But she's Amy Pond and she can't mope for long. She'll see them again, and in the meantime there is a job to complete and an adventure to live.

* * *

**Author's Notes: I am planning a sequel to this story, and I hope you guys will read it. I have to write it regardless; these characters are very much entrenched in my brain. **

**Gallifreyan time rings do exist in the show's canon. They first appear on the television show on the episode "Genesis of the Daleks" featuring the fourth Doctor.**


End file.
